Mama Ivie, as she was fondly called, had always been the pillar of her home. She spent years nurturing her four children, tutoring them, and ensuring they had everything they needed, while her husband, Pa Osasere, worked tirelessly to provide for the family.
She was proud of how well they had all turned out—successful, responsible, and generous.
But one thing troubled her deeply.
Every year on her birthday, her children went all out, traveling from across the world to celebrate her. Expensive gifts, grand gestures, and heartfelt tributes poured in. But on their father’s birthday? A short phone call. An email. Maybe a couriered gift—if they remembered.
At first, she told herself it wasn’t intentional. Perhaps they were just too busy. But when this pattern continued year after year, she realized something: her children, without knowing it, were dishonoring the very man who had sacrificed everything for them.
Enough was enough.
With an unusual firmness in her voice, she summoned them all to the family home in Ikpoba Hill, near the sacred Ikpoba River in the mighty Benin Kingdom.
Osawaru, a robotics engineer in the USA; Omoregie, a surgeon in Canada; Ivie, a professor at an Ivy League school; and Adesuwa, a member of the House of Assembly—all successful, all accomplished—were confused by their mother’s sudden demand. But there was something in her voice that told them this wasn’t an invitation. It was a command.
They all dropped everything and made their way home.
A Strange Homecoming
The day before their father’s birthday, they arrived one by one, expecting a warm reunion and a clear explanation. But to their surprise, Mama Ivie barely spoke to them.
“We’ll talk tomorrow,” was all she said.
Their cousin, Omonigho, who now cared for their aging parents, made sure they were comfortable. He prepared a rich meal of pounded yam and a special local soup, delicately spiced and filled with assorted bush meat and dried fish—so delicious that even the most dignified man might forget his manners while eating.
Despite the warmth of home, an unsettling tension hung in the air. What was going on?
The next morning, they woke up to find their parents gone.
Their mother, who had insisted they all return for an urgent discussion, had left without a word.
For the first time in years, they felt like strangers in their own home.
A Journey Unknown
Mama Ivie had taken Pa Osasere on a drive in the brand-new Toyota Carina 2 the children had gifted her on her last birthday. First, they visited St. Joseph Catholic Church on 1st East Circular Road, where Father Theophilus blessed them. Then, to the children’s surprise, she took her husband to a local food joint, where Iye Lucky, a legendary cook, prepared dishes so rich in flavor that people whispered she had a touch of the supernatural in her recipes.
By the time they returned home in the afternoon, the children were restless with curiosity.
Their parents entered the house slowly, their expressions unreadable.
The moment of truth had arrived.
The Confrontation
Seated in the family’s grand living room, beneath a life-sized framed picture of Oba Erediauwa, the atmosphere was thick with suspense.
After the usual pleasantries, Mama Ivie took a deep breath and then, with piercing clarity, addressed her children.
“How could you?” she asked, her voice steady but firm.
They exchanged puzzled glances.
“How could we what, Mama?” Osawaru finally asked.
She shook her head, her eyes filled with emotion. “How could you honor me so lavishly, year after year, and barely acknowledge the man who gave you everything?”
Their faces paled.
“I love you all deeply,” she continued. “But have you forgotten who paid your school fees, who worked day and night to send you to the University of Benin and abroad? Who stood beside me, making sure you lacked nothing? Yet, when my birthday comes, you rush back home with gifts and praises. And when it is his? A call. An email. A couriered gift—if at all.”
Tears welled up in Ivie’s eyes. “Mama… we never meant to dishonor Papa. We—we just assumed—”
“You assumed,” she interrupted, her voice breaking. “You assumed I was the one who deserved the attention. But let me tell you something—without this man, I would not have had the strength to be the mother you celebrate so much.”
The weight of her words crushed them. They had never seen it this way before. They had adored their mother so much that, without realizing it, they had sidelined the very foundation of their family.
Pa Osasere, sitting quietly through it all, finally spoke.
“My children, I am not angry. I never was. But today, I am glad. Glad because now you know.”
A deep silence followed. Then, one by one, they fell to their knees before their father, tears streaming down their faces.
A Birthday Like Never Before
Determined to make things right, they sprang into action.
The celebration that followed was unlike anything Ikpoba Hill had seen. Sir (Dr.) Victor Uwaifo, the legendary Benin musician, was invited to perform. Drinks flowed endlessly. The nearby cattle market was raided for the finest cows. Friends, family, and neighbors flooded the house as the music and laughter carried on until the early morning hours.
For the first time, Pa Osasere’s birthday was not just acknowledged—it was celebrated.
And as Mama Ivie watched the joy on her husband’s face, she smiled, knowing her mission was complete.
Her children had finally learned what it truly meant to honor their father.
You’ve raised an interesting and thought-provoking point. While the world has rightly pushed for gender equality, sometimes the contributions of men—especially as fathers and providers—can be overlooked. Mama Ivie, in this story, stands out as a rare example of a woman who truly understands the biblical principle of honor.
A Proverbs 31 woman is not just hardworking and virtuous; she also recognizes and respects the role of her husband. She doesn’t seek glory for herself at his expense but ensures that honor is given where it is due.
In today’s world, where societal roles are shifting, many women are excelling in careers and even becoming the primary providers. But how many, like Mama Ivie, would willingly step back and direct attention to their husbands as the pillars of the home?
It’s not about gender superiority but about balance and recognition. Just as women deserve appreciation for their sacrifices, men also deserve to be celebrated for their quiet, consistent labor in sustaining families. Unfortunately, many fathers work tirelessly yet remain in the background, receiving little acknowledgment.
Perhaps stories like this can serve as a wake-up call—not just to children but to society as a whole—to restore honor and balance in how we appreciate both mothers and fathers.
I have to touch on a deeply important and often ignored issue—the silent suffering of men, especially as they age. Society has evolved, but in that evolution, we seem to have lost sight of something fundamental: men are human too.
My observation that societal shifts are silent but dangerous is painfully accurate. Over time, the role of men has been reduced to that of providers—valuable only when they meet financial or material needs. The moment a man can no longer provide, he is often pushed aside, whether by his children, his wife, or society at large.
How many men suffer in silence because they feel unseen and unappreciated? How many fathers have given their all, only to find themselves forgotten and lonely in old age? I don’t want to be right on this but—many men are alone, even in a large household.
The Burden of Expectation.
Even wealthy men feel the pressure. Just because someone has money doesn’t mean they don’t feel the weight of endless expectations.
A wife or children who always ask but never appreciate slowly drain the soul of a man. And when he finally collapses under the weight of it all? Society barely notices—until it’s too late.
The rise in male suicides is no coincidence. Many men feel like they are only useful while they are providing—and when they can no longer meet those demands, they feel worthless. It’s a slow emotional murder, yet few talk about it.
The Role of Women: Helper, Not Opportunist.
I have to say this regardless: God created women as helpers, not opportunists. Marriage was never meant to be a transactional relationship where a man is only as good as his last paycheck. If a wife truly loves her husband, she should not only seek what he can provide but also seek his well-being—mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
Likewise, children should learn to honor their fathers, not just when they need school fees, inheritance, or a wedding sponsor.
The simple act of saying “Thank you, Dad” or “I love you” without attaching a request can revive a weary heart more than people realize. You may think your Daddy is almighty and he does not have a need. I’d like to burst your bubble. Try buying him a shoe! Of course, he can afford it but the weight of responsibility on him, over the years, has made him to overlook his own personal needs. You will be shocked how bad your dad needs someone to talk to or how badly he needs an handkerchief! Something that does not cost a fraction of your fees, but he worries more about meeting your huge wants than meeting his own tiny needs.
Society do not forgive a crying Man but most Men needs a shoulder to cry on. It is suppose to be the wife’s but most have abdicated their roles for trivialities.
The Real Purpose of Marriage.
A home should be a place of rest for both husband and wife, not a battlefield where the man is seen as an ATM and the woman as an endless demander. God created companionship, not slavery. The Proverbs 31 woman is not just hardworking—she is also a crown to her husband, lifting him up, not draining him dry.
So, where do we go from here?
• We must restore honor to men—not because they are superior, but because they, too, need love and appreciation.
• Wives must remember that they were created to help, not to exploit. Sometimes, all that is required is a THANK YOU, a shoulder to lean on, a romantic evening or even a smile to welcome him back home.
• Children must be taught that fathers are more than just providers—they are human beings with emotions and needs. They are not absent because they choose to but necessity of work has made it impossible. Some women will ensure they let their children know that their father is always unavailable for no reason. Some even callously think he is in the arms of another women!
• Society must redefine masculinity—not as mere strength and provision, but as a full human experience that includes vulnerability, love, and respect.
THE FORGOTTEN MEN AND THE FORGOTTEN GOD
A Silent Shift in Society
There is a silent, unnoticed shift happening in society. It does not announce itself loudly, yet it is steadily stealing our values. If there are no watchers, no thinkers, no voices to stand against this tide, we will slowly drift into a valueless and loveless society, one where basic family structures collapse, and relationships become purely transactional. We would become murderers—unaware, killing not with weapons but with neglect and indifference.
One of the casualties of this shift is men—husbands and fathers. It is heartbreaking to see that many men today, after spending their youth providing for their families, end up abandoned, lonely, and stripped of honor. Many retired men face the sad reality of being useful only when they can provide. If they have wealth, they are still acknowledged—but only as long as they can give. Once their ability to meet financial needs diminishes, their worth in the eyes of many vanishes too. This silent pain drives many men into depression, and in extreme cases, even suicide.
A Man Should Not Exist Just to Meet Needs.
A man is not just a provider. God never intended for husbands and fathers to be seen only as financial pillars while their emotional and spiritual needs are ignored. Why then do so many men feel alone, even in a house full of family? Why do so many fathers get phone calls only when their children need money, and not when they simply want to express love? Why do wives approach their husbands only when there is a problem to solve? Is marriage meant to be purely transactional?
A Divine Revelation.
As I pondered these troubling realities, I took my concerns to God in prayer.
I expected a serious response, but instead, I felt the Spirit of God laugh. I was shocked. What was God saying? What was amusing about my complaint?
Then the answer came—we do the same thing to Him.
Like many neglected men, God is also forgotten once He grants our requests. Our prayers are not relational; they are transactional.
We come to Him only when we have a need—when we lack money, when we are sick, when we need protection, when life becomes unbearable.
But how many of us spend hours in prayer just to love and appreciate Him? How many of us spend time in worship without asking for anything?
If you had everything you needed, would you still pray as much? Have you ever wondered what wealthy people pray about?
Job, one of the richest men in his time, lacked nothing—what did he pray about? When David became king, what did he pray about?
God craves our love and attention, just as a husband craves the love and appreciation of his wife and children. Women often have the comfort of knowing that their husband will fix the problem. But who comforts the man? Who assures him that he is more than just a provider? It is easy to say he should depend on God, but the reality is that it is easier to depend on people we can see.
The Heart of God.
God wants our love, not just our requests. If He wanted forced worship, He would have made us robots or mindless beings.
But He created us with free will—because true love can only come by choice.
But what do we do with that free will? We ask for a car, a house, a phone, a job—and when He answers, we become too busy enjoying the blessings to spend time with the Blesser.
Imagine this: A wife begs her husband for a new phone. He sacrifices to buy it for her. But after receiving it, she no longer pays attention to him. She spends all her time on that phone—chatting, browsing, laughing at social media posts—while her husband sits lonely at home. How would that husband feel?
This is what we do to God.
We pray, “Lord, bless me.” He blesses us. Then, instead of seeking Him more, we spend more time on social media than in His presence. We reject the fullness of joy that comes from being with Him and settle for cheap entertainment.
A Call to Change.
This is more than just a message about forgotten fathers. It is a spiritual wake-up call. If we truly want to restore honor to men, we must first restore honor to God. If we want to fix broken families, we must first fix our relationship with the Father of all fathers.
Let us ask ourselves:
• Is my relationship with God transactional or relational?
• Do I pray only when I need something?
• When was the last time I spent time with God just to love and worship Him?
• Do I treat God the same way neglected men are treated?
If we want a better society, one where men are honored, families are strong, and love is genuine, we must start by loving God for who He is, not just for what He gives. Only then can we truly understand the power of honor, love, and gratitude.
It is time to return—to God, to honor, to true love.
This article is written by Pastor Kingsley Great-King.
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