When I first started writing this book, this Chapter One on sexual intimacy wasn’t included. But as I progressed, something felt incomplete; after much reflection, I realized a proper introduction was necessary to lay the foundation for everything that follows.

Marriage is a vast and deeply complex subject. It is one of the most sacred institutions established by God, yet in today’s world, it has been reshaped, redefined, and in some cases, completely misunderstood. If we fail to narrow our focus, we risk reducing marriage to nothing more than a legal contract, a social arrangement, or worse, a fleeting emotional experience. Without a clear biblical foundation, confusion and conflict become inevitable.

In this book, I want to establish from the beginning that our primary focus is Christian marriage—as ordained by God in Genesis 2:18. This is not just about human love, attraction, or compatibility. It is also about divine purpose.

While anyone is welcome to embrace covenant marriage, it cannot be truly lived out without the grace of God. This kind of marriage leaves no room for second-guessing, no backup plans, no hidden exit strategies. It is not about convenience or personal gain—it is about commitment, sacrifice, and divine alignment.

Imagine stepping onto an island with your spouse, knowing that the only way forward is together. The bridge behind you is burned, not as an act of recklessness, but as a declaration of faith and devotion. There is no turning back, no easy way out—only the daily choice to love, to forgive, and to endure.

So, if you are already married—have you burned your bridge? Have you fully embraced the covenant, with no backup plan, no escape route—only the unwavering commitment to grow, endure, and thrive together?

And if you are yet to marry, I urge you to approach this book with the seriousness it deserves—as if your very breath depends on it. Because the truth is, marriage is not a game, nor is it a temporary arrangement to be discarded at will. It is a divine calling, a lifelong journey that demands wisdom, sacrifice, and grace. I pray that you will have a glorious marital life!

These two relationships—spiritual intimacy with God and physical intimacy in marriage—are crucial to our life and destiny. Both are divine mysteries that require our total devotion and understanding.

Enoch walked with God, meaning he cultivated deep, unwavering spiritual intimacy with Him, and as a result, he transcended the ordinary. In contrast, Samson, though anointed with great strength, lacked both spiritual intimacy with God and the discipline of covenantal love in marriage. His failure to guard these sacred relationships cost him everything.

One led to divine elevation, the other to tragic downfall. The choice remains ours.

Spiritual intimacy with God and Sexual intimacy in marriage

The Foundation: Spiritual Intimacy with God

Before we delve into the subject of marriage and sexual intimacy, we must first establish a crucial foundation: spiritual intimacy with God is paramount. Our first and greatest commandment is to love God with our whole being—heart, soul, and mind (Matthew 22:37-40). Only when our relationship with God is in order can we truly experience the fullness of intimacy in marriage.

Our teenage and single years should be spent pursuing God wholeheartedly, learning how He speaks, leads, and directs us. We are unique creatures, and God relates with each of us in a personal way. The Preacher in Ecclesiastes urges us to “remember God in the days of our youth” (Ecclesiastes 12:1), reminding us that a life without Him is ultimately meaningless.

The Controversy of Intimacy with God

"Spiritual intimacy with God is often misunderstood—not because God is unclear, but because we misinterpret His personality and intentions, judging Him unfairly. Some even perceive Him as harsh, unmerciful, or unwilling to let people into heaven due to His high standards. However, this couldn’t be further from the truth. God’s desire is for all to be saved, and His commandments are rooted in love, not oppression.". This is precisely why Jesus came—to reveal God’s true nature and show us how to walk in relationship with Him.

If we dedicate our youth to building a strong relationship with God—like Joseph, David, Mary, and other great men and women of faith—then understanding sexual intimacy in marriage will come naturally. A heart fully surrendered to God will know how to navigate marital intimacy with wisdom and grace. Psalm 23 is an indication of David’s deep intimacy with God while tending to his father’s flocks. God essentially knows those that are his!

Excepts from my oncoming book; Sexual intimacy in marriage! 

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